Thursday, April 12, 2012

the curtain

Not much to say tonight i suppose.
I am deep in my head and thought processes.
Trying to sort out reality, fantasy and illusion.
Missing people. Although I have no reason to feel lonely this evening, I do a bit.
Tomorrow is a new day.  Perhaps sleep will help to sort the conflicting challenging thoughts.
It is hard to change your perspective. I find myself fighting a battle to go back to what is unhealthy, simply because it is known and comfortable in some ways.
I can be better than that. I want to be better than that.
Anxiety has been less in the last 24 hours.
Retreating into my mental fantasy gives comfort.  It is a place where I can have control, even though it is not real.  Just for a half hour, life looks and feels a way that I wish it was behind the curtain of my eye lids.

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