it is a process
it feels like crap
it feels like hell
the sad acceptance
fighting against the acceptance
trying to remember better moments
then throwing them under a mental blanket
they impede the process
the desire to move to anger
but you can't
you just can't because of the love
the desire for sleep
that just won't happen
because you are so deep in the process
i talk to myself in the darkened bedroom
like i am on my bike in the middle of a hard part of a ride.
i just need to get to that tree
then i can reevaluate
can i make it to the tree?
of course i can
i am in the process
the process that feels like crap
the process that feels like hell.