Thursday, November 7, 2013

bit of brain jumble

So I broke the challenge I was attempting to do.  30 days of writing.  Sleep got in the way of this. Damn you new allergy/asthma medication!! My last couple of days have been those kind of days where you are doing everything you can, just to get to bed to be able to close your eyes for  a little bit and hope that you can catch up the next day. Learning that it is ok to vacuum the floor the next day.  I have a great deal going on in my head, and hopefully I will write about each of them as this week/end  flow by.

Even though I have not been on top of the writing, I have however made sure I got bike rides in.  I had until about 2 months ago riding very regularly and the length of my rides had (as planned) been getting longer and longer in anticipation of completing a "century."  Then, more than full time work put that on the back burner.  A couple of weeks ago, my work load dropped down (ie I stopped working one of my million jobs...mon).  I decided instead of focusing on the lack of money, I was going to try to see what was positive about gaining 10-12 hours a week back. I thought, Ok, I can try to carve out some of that time to ride my bike regularly again.  Riding my bike regularly helps control my OCD, keeps me calmer when dealing with Thurston (or other challenging situations), and helps me look a way that I want to look physically and in essence, improves my self esteem.  I like that I am outside in sun and not looking at a monitor, but looking at what is wonderful in the world around me.  Even though I have ridden my bike the last 2 months, it has not been with any consistency.  I worried it would be harder than what it has been to get back in the saddle.  More than anything, I realized I allowed myself to put this activity at #2 on the priorities list.  I have done this most of my life.  The things I need most...get relegated to the back burner due to other seemingly more important priorities.  I fall into the easy habit of..."I have so much to do...just this time..." but in reality it never is "just this time."  The precarious balance of responsibility and selfishness.  So now for 2 weeks, I have been back on my bike.  I am easing myself back in.  My allergies and asthma have been very bad for a month now, and I have been to the Doctor.  We are reworking my medications.  I keep reminding myself that I didn't stop riding for 2 years...simply 2 months of non regular riding.  All of it will come back and quicker than what I think it might.  Indeed this seems to be the case.  My biggest issue is my breathing. Even if I had continued riding, because of the santa anas and the allergy triggers...I might have had the same breathing issues regardless.  So onward and forward.  Rode Monday, rode today and get to do a longer ride tomorrow, which I am really looking forward to.  I have a route in mind already.

More things I am grateful for:
1) Enduring friendships through good and bad times
2) Support given and received from the basis of trust, love and respect
3) The wide range of experiences my siblings have and the advice they give based on those experiences.
4) Asthma Inhalers
5) How Thurston out of what seems nowhere tells me "I love you, Mama"
6) Learning from adversity
7) Tater Tots
8) Green Tea
9) The way sunlight falls on walls and filters through trees in Autumn.
10) The Ould Sod on Adams Ave.

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