It was a party night. That is for certain.
Chris was showing me around his house in the middle of a party.
I had felt nervous. I had felt anxious.
I was terrified of rejection, but those were not the things I found.
I had been so lost during that time. More change than what I could cope with.
I barely knew up from down.
We had simply been talking.
He was telling me about airplane models he had built.
Then in a rare moment of confidence I actually looked him in the eyes.
I had no idea what I was doing, or even why given the intensity of my personal insecurities and demons.
Yet I did look.
In that moment, I looked in his eyes and he returned the gaze.
I really do not know how long it was for.
It could have been 5 seconds or 25 minutes.
Time had stopped.
In this suspended time I fell in love.
I felt connected to another human.
I did not feel alone.
I was lost in time but found home.
That was more than four years ago.
I have held onto this memory and love.
At long last that moment has come to full fruition.
We are finally ready.
Only tonight after so many years, I told Chris of this crucial memory.
In the dark, he put his hand on my face.
We looked in each others eyes.
Once again I have come home.